I have carried a revolver; lots of us do, but they are the most innocent things in the world. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Ours is a terrible religion. The fleets of the world could swim in spacious comfort in the innocent blood it has spilt. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Writing is the easiest thing in the world… Just try it sometime. I sit up with a pipe in my mouth and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It liberates the vandal to travel-you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If there is one thing that is really cheerful in the world, it is cheerfulness. I have noticed it often. And I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
from the beginning of my sojourn in this world there was a persistent vacancy in me where the industry ought to be.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is nothing in the world like a persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus and upset the convictions and debauch the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If we should deal out justice only, in this world, who would escape? No, it is better to be generous, and in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
All gentle cant and philosophizing to the contrary notwithstanding, no people in this world ever did achieve their freedom by goody-goody talk… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razorstrap. A thing book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
And always we had wars, and more wars, and still other wars - all over Europe, all over the world. "Sometimes in… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
By reading keep in a state of excited igorance, like a blind man in a house afire; flounder around, immensely but unintelligently… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I repeat, sir, that in whatever position you place a woman she is an ornament to society and a treasure to the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It was in 1590--winter. Austria was far away from the world, and asleep; it was still the Middle Ages in Austria, and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When the Lord finished the world, he pronounced it good. That is what I said about my first work, too. But Time,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am persuaded that the world has been tricked into adopting some false and most pernicious notions about consistency - and to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
This is a Christian country. Why, so is hell. Inasmuch as Strait is the way and narrow is the gate, and few… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It was a splendid population - for all the slow, sleepy, sluggish-brained sloths stayed at home - you never find that sort… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am a democrat only on principle, not by instinct, nobody is that. Doubtless some people say they are, but this world… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I wonder how much it would take to buy a soap bubble, if there were only one in the world. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditchdigging. It is the insanest of all recreations. The inventor… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Was it my conspicuousness that distressed me? Not at all. It was merely that I was not beautifully conspicuous but uglily conspicuous… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
