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Witty Quotes by Anonymous

158 Witty quotes by Anonymous

All Witty quotes Anonymous’s page

One of the greatest mistakes in life is to fear continually you will make one, and the quotes joke about how fear can stop us from trying. They point out that being honest, even to a woman, is better than hiding truth, and they celebrate being perfectly themselves despite not being perfect.

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Oh look, there goes my give a shit.

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Wagner’s music is better than it sounds.

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You'll have to speak up... I'm wearing a towel.

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When I said I'd hit that I meant with my car.

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Don't show me attitude, I have my own.

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Facts are the enemy of truth.

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If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

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I hate being in jail...I mean, school...

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Guys use the word friendship to start a relationship. Girls use the word friendship to end it...

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I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.

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Puppies, babies, and husbands; adorable until you have to actually take care of them.

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I don't have an attitude, I have a personality you can't handle.

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If Im driving you crazy just remember to put on your seat belt.

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Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.

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Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.

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Prayer is wireless access to God with no roaming fees.

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What I don't like is snark for snark's sake. If you are going to make fun of me, at least be witty…

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When people talk like a hoe, dress like a hoe, walk like a hoe, act like a hoe, but get mad when…

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Funny how it's always the woman with fake hair, fake nails, fake eyelashes, fake boobs…that have the audacity to scream Girrrrrrrrl ain't…

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Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who…

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Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party

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Country music stays at the top off the charts because the people who listen to it don't know how to download it…

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Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad…

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A word of kindness is seldom spoken in vain, while witty saying are as easily lost as the pearls slipping from a…

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A father may have a child who is ugly and lacking in all the graces, and the love he feels for him…

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“Being overly smart is obnoxious, being wise is a turn on. There’s something irresistible about someone you can learn from. The need…

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There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no…

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I’m bored’ is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you’ve seen none…

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What a great feeling to be in love! It seems that everything around you is invisible and all you see is just…

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I have been lately introduced to the famous Thomas Paine, and like him very well. He is vain beyond all belief, but…

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We cannot see how the evidence afforded by the unquestioned progressive development of organised existence-crowned as it has been by the recent…

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The biggest defeat in every department of life is to forget, especially the things that have done you in, and to die…

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Another papercut survivor.

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The stories we love best do live in us forever.

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I can levitate birds. No one cares.

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Ask me no questions, and I'll tell you no lies.

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Love may be blind but marriage is an eye opener.

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Anger makes dull men witty, but it keeps them poor.

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I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.

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I wish school was as easy as half the girls in it.

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More by Anonymous

And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back

Life is full of change. That's how we learn and grow.

You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.…

Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t…

Everyone needs someone to love, and I choose you.

“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care…

Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,…

Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past…

Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer…

Im sorry I ever tried...

Being betrayed by the one you love is the worst feeling in the world...

Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.

The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much.

“Start a business, not a startup”

The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,…