The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off! — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do? — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Ooh good I've got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable than what BEING STABBED? — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
I don't often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animal's duty to be on my plate at supper… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
I'm sorry, but having an Aston Martin DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that's much to shout about. That's like saying… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
The air conditioning in Lamborghinis used to be an asthmatic sitting in the dashboard blowing at you through a straw. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves. All we know is he’s… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
I rang up Jay Kay, who's got one, and said: 'Can we borrow yours?' and he said, 'Yeah, if I can borrow… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Some say that he has no understanding of clouds, and that his ear wax tastes like Turkish Delight. All we know is… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Supercars are supposed to run over Arthur Scargill and then run over him again for good measure. They are designed to melt… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
I mean its a weekly occurrence that somebody will complain that Top Gear was on last night - and you just sit… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
When we went to Canada [with Top Gear], I was staggered about how many people got in touch ... Before we finish… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
The Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
A turbo: exhaust gasses go into the turbocharger and spin it, witchcraft happens and you go faster. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Usually, a Range Rover would be beaten away from the lights by a diesel powered wheelbarrow. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sportscar in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Think of it as Angelina Jolie. You’ve heard she’s mad and eats nothing but wallpaper paste. But you would, wouldn’t you? — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Owning a TVR in the past was like owning a bear. I mean it was great, until it pulled your head off,… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Driving most supercars is like trying to manhandle a cow up a back staircase, but this is like smearing honey onto Keira… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it on sale, and then found out… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough affordable cars on the show so we'll kick off… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
God may have created the world in six days, but while he was resting on the seventh, Beelzebub popped up and did… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
Change gear, change gear, check mirror, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, murder. That's a lot of effort in a day. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
“I took ten days off and by 11 o’clock on the first morning I had drunk fourteen cups of coffee, read all the newspapers… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
I dish the dirt out, and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it? In 20 years,… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
“Make no mistake, Concorde was an extraordinary technological achievement. Almost certainly, one of the greatest.” — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
“Lego, however, is always opened and then left lying around so adults have something to tread on when they are prowling around around the… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
Because drug dealers shoot each other in London, Norfolk farmers can't have guns to defend their homes. I mean, no one wants a gun… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
“Three chums would find themselves at a loose end for whatever reason and would agree to travel together to foreign lands for the purposes… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
“and although the W came along in the tenth century, modern Germans still seem to manage perfectly well by using a V instead. Except… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
“It won’t be a volcano that ends man’s existence on this planet. It’ll be the no-win no-fee lawyers. They are the ones who brought… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
![“That [Pagani] Zonda, really! It’s like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.” quote by Jeremy Clarkson](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/41f/jeremy-clarkson-2634_dungarees_that-pagani-zonda-really-it-s-like-a-lio_3171135.jpg)
![“When we went to Canada [with Top Gear], I was staggered about how many people got in touch ... Before we finish with The Grand Tour, we'll definitely be appearing in Canada at some point. Nothing is more certain than that.” quote by Jeremy Clarkson](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/fb8/jeremy-clarkson-2634_appearing_when-we-went-to-canada-with-top-gear-i-w_1228310.jpg)
![“[on the BMW X3] If you are clinically insane, by which I mean you wake up in the morning and think you are an onion, here's your car.” quote by Jeremy Clarkson](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/bf2/jeremy-clarkson-2634_bmw_on-the-bmw-x3-if-you-are-clinically-insa_677792.jpg)
![“If you were to buy a [BMW] 6-series, I recommend you select reverse when leaving friends’ houses so they don’t see its backside.” quote by Jeremy Clarkson](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/d61/jeremy-clarkson-2634_backsides_if-you-were-to-buy-a-bmw-6-series-i-reco_3081848.jpg)
