You already barely exist. Disappearing entirely won't be that much of a change. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
I think you should live your life so that the maximum number of people will attend your funeral. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
A matador is a guy who didn't have enough people skills to be promoted to serial killer. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
Lately, the only thing keeping me from being a serial killer is my distaste for manual labor. — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
In case the rest of you missed it, the inspirational speech was: 'If you work hard, you can achieve great things. And… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
You might argue that my example is bad because Einstein is dead. But according to physicist Erwin Schrodinger, Einstein is neither dead… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. — Scott Adams Copy Share
“If you think your odds of solving your problem are bad, don’t rule out the possibility that what is really happening is that you… — Scott Adams Copy Share
Frankly, I’m suspicious of anyone who has a strong opinion on a complicated issue. — Scott Adams Copy Share
“If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. It sounds trivial and obvious, but if you unpack the idea it has… — Scott Adams Copy Share
For five hundred dollars, I'll name a subatomic particle after you. Some of my satisfied customers include Arthur C. Quark and George Meson. — Scott Adams Copy Share
“Failure always brings something valuable with it. I don’t let it leave until I extract that value.” — Scott Adams Copy Share
“On all the important stuff, we are emotional creatures who make decisions first and rationalize them after the fact.” — Scott Adams Copy Share
“What you rarely see is a stillborn failure that transmogrifies into a stellar success. Small successes can grow into big ones, but failures rarely… — Scott Adams Copy Share
“Because everything you perceive is a metaphor for something your brain is not equipped to fully understand. God is as real as the clothes… — Scott Adams Copy Share
“Capitalism is rotten at every level, and yet it adds up to something extraordinarily useful for society over time. The paradox of capitalism is… — Scott Adams Copy Share
The best part about being my age is in knowing how my life worked out. Sure, there's a lot more living to go, but… — Scott Adams Copy Share
If you see voters as rational, you'll be a terrible politician. People are not wired to be rational. Our brains simply evolved to keep… — Scott Adams Copy Share
