Retirement jokes Quotes

A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job.

— Ella Harris

There's an enormous number of managers who have retired on the job.

— Peter Drucker

I was thinking Im going to die but I'm not going to tap

— Lyoto Machida

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing

— A. A. Milne

I'm now as free as the breeze - with roughly the same income.

— Gene Perret

There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quit...retire!

— Groucho Marx

A man can't retire his experience.

— Bernard Baruch

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

— Gene Perret

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

— Joan Rivers

Forever, and forever, farewell, Cassius! If we do meet again, why, we shall smile; If not, why then this parting was well…

— William Shakespeare

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I'm home - forever."

— Gene Perret

Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully…

— Jonathan Clements

When you retire, you switch bosses - from the one who hired you to the one who married you.

— Gene Perret

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf.

— Gene Perret

In my retirement I go for a short swim at least once or twice every day. It's either that or buy a…

— Gene Perret

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.

— R. C. Sherriff

Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.

— Gene Perret

When some people retire, it's going to be mighty hard to be able to tell the difference.

— Virginia Graham

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day.

— Gene Perret