Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The true pioneer of civilization is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad - but whiskey! — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“In religion and politics people's beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second-hand, and without examination, from authorities.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We don't cut up when mad men are bred by the old legitimate regular stock religions, but we can't allow wildcat religions… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“He is in heaven now, and happy; or if not there, he bides in hell and is content; for in that place… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The pulpit and the optimist are always talking about the human race's steady march toward ultimate perfection. As usual, they leave out… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You believe in a book that has talking animals, wizards, witches, demons, sticks turning into snakes, burning bushes, food falling from the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In religion, India is the only millionaire... the One land that all men desire to see, and having seen once, by even… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Mississippi River towns are comely, clean, well built, and pleasing to the eye, and cheering to the spirit. The Mississippi Valley… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Our Bible reveals to us the character of our god with minute and remorseless exactness... It is perhaps the most damnatory biography… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There warn't anybody at the church, except maybe a hog or two, for there warn't any lock on the door, and hogs… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness--your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture…He takes upon himself… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Drop this mean and sordid and selfish devotion to the saving of your shabby little souls, and hunt up something to do… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
This is a Christian country. Why, so is hell. Inasmuch as Strait is the way and narrow is the gate, and few… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also. I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A Christian's first duty is to God. It then follows, as a matter of course, that it is his duty to carry… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Mark Twain, cynical about so much else, has a particular reverence in the Holy Land for "sitting where a god has stood".… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There was no place in the land where the seeker could not find some small budding sign of pity for the slave.… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, politics or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“We must have a religion — it goes without saying — but my idea is, to have it cut up into forty… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Strange a God who mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness, then invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none Himself;… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
India has 2,000,000 gods and worships them all. In religion, all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I admire the serene assurance of those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
...mastery of the art and spirit of the Germanic language enables a man to travel all day in one sentence without changing… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The world has corrected the Bible. The church never corrects it; and also never fails to drop in at the tail of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions…there was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“I have no special regard for Satan; but I can at least claim that I have no prejudice against him. It may… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Two things which are the peculiar domain of the heart, not the mind—politics and religion. He doesn’t want to know the other… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
As for the dinosaur - But Noah's conscience was easy; it was not named in his cargo list and he and the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Koran does not permit Mohammedans to drink. Their natural instincts do not permit them to be moral. They say the Sultan… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is no such thing as material covetousness. All covetousness is spiritual. ...Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
![“More than two hundred death penalties are gone from the law books, but the [biblical] texts that authorised them remain.” quote by Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/fa0/mark-twain-22_bible_more-than-two-hundred-death-penalties-ar_2288236.png)
