By nature, most people are controlled by their emotions. They feel sad, so they look sad. — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
People tend to criticize their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need. — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I cannot change others, but I can influence others... we can't change people, but we can and we do influence people, and… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage. — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
When people respond too quickly, they often respond to the wrong issue. Listening helps us focus on the heart of the conflict.… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
We can choose the attitude that says, I have been wronged. People have hurt me, but with the help of God, I… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
The pattern often has been entrenched since childhood... [abusive people] don't think that there is anything wrong with them because that is… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
People do not get married planning to divorce. Divorce is the result of a lack of preparation for marriage and the failure… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Over the long haul, many of those people [in a difficult marriage] will begin to reciprocate, because you are meeting a basic… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
My attitude affects my actions. So, if I have a negative attitude about it, then it is going to show up in… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Physically abusive and verbally abuse marriages are very, very difficult situations. I fully understand people in those kinds of marriages who think… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I think one of the myths is that people don't change. A lot of people believe that. Their spouse has been an… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
The decision to get married will impact one's life more deeply than almost any decision in life. Yet people continue to rush… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
I think another [myth] is that some marriages are just hopeless. This is a common thing I hear from people, "Well, I… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
We can certainly see contemporary examples of people who radically change. As long you believe your spouse will never change and you… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
The reality is, if you go to the library and read biographies, thousands of people have changed, radically changed. St. Augustine was… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
We can look at the pain in our lives. We can look at the way we have been mistreated, and we can… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Togetherness has to do with focused attention. It is giving someone your undivided attention. As humans, we have a fundamental desire to… — Gary Chapman Copy Share Image
Marriages are always moving from one season to another. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter--discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times we experience springtime, with… — Gary Chapman Copy Share
Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. Isolation is devastating to the human psyche. That is why solitary confinement is… — Gary Chapman Copy Share
Most of us have more potential than we will ever develop. What holds us back is often a lack of courage. — Gary Chapman Copy Share
On the other hand, if I walk in the house, I don't even bother to find her, I just walk in the den and… — Gary Chapman Copy Share
“I look for three things in hiring people. The first is personal integrity, the second is intelligence, and the third is a high energy… — Gary Chapman Copy Share
Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give… — Gary Chapman Copy Share
“Psychologist William James said that possibly the deepest human need is the need to feel appreciated.” — Gary Chapman Copy Share
I think that in today's world, by nature, we are all self-centered. And that often leads to selfishness. — Gary Chapman Copy Share
Sometimes when the spouse is really the culprit, it is hard to admit what you consider your little failures, but if you are going… — Gary Chapman Copy Share
“There is a third truth, which only the mature lover will be able to hear. My spouse’s criticisms about my behavior provide me with… — Gary Chapman Copy Share
The getting out part [of advise] may well be true. Because if you have tried the tender love thing... typically the abuser is not… — Gary Chapman Copy Share
I wrote this book [ Desperate Marriages] because of my own marriage. My wife and I struggled greatly in the early years of marriage.… — Gary Chapman Copy Share
As a senior in high school, I had a strong sense that God wanted me in some kind of ministry. — Gary Chapman Copy Share
We all desperately need love. If a spouse in a difficult marriage will learn the love language of that spouse, and they will, with… — Gary Chapman Copy Share
“If acts of service do not come naturally for you, it is still a love language worth acquiring. It is a way of expressing… — Gary Chapman Copy Share
![“The pattern often has been entrenched since childhood... [abusive people] don't think that there is anything wrong with them because that is the way they were brought up in their family.” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/8ab/gary-chapman-1325_abusive_the-pattern-often-has-been-entrenched-si_1597705.png)
![“Over the long haul, many of those people [in a difficult marriage] will begin to reciprocate, because you are meeting a basic need in their life, the need for love, and they know they don't deserve love many times.” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/0e6/gary-chapman-1325_basic-needs_over-the-long-haul-many-of-those-people_2162059.jpg)
![“I think another [myth] is that some marriages are just hopeless. This is a common thing I hear from people, "Well, I just think there are some marriages that are hopeless, Dr. Chapman, don't you agree with that?" I say I understand the feeling, but the fact is that there are no marriages that are…” quote by Gary Chapman](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/8c8/gary-chapman-1325_agree_i-think-another-myth-is-that-some-marria_2055655.png)
