The Olympics have just started and the Greeks are already 14 medals in debt. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The female body is a masterpiece. Everyone likes to look at the female body, especially in dynamic, athletic sport. — Natalie Cook Copy Share Image
I grew up not really thinking I had a disability. I grew up thinking I had different shoes — Oscar Pistorius Copy Share Image
Officials at the London Olympics will be conducting 5,000 tests for steroids. Or as Lance Armstrong calls that, 'a Monday.' — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Well China, you got us. Phelps was doping - and he still beat you. He smoked the sticky-icky, and then he smoked… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Equestrian and sailing are sports for people growing up on the mean streets of Connecticut. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Naturally the U.S. trails in gold medals because every time we win one, we hand it over to the Chinese to pay… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
The Geiger-counter of Olympomania is going to go zoink off the scale, — Boris Johnson Copy Share Image
The night before the Olympics opening ceremony, my son, who is eight years old, gets very excited and likes to put out… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
An Australian swimmer who failed to win a gold medal is blaming her loss on social media. In her defense, it is… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Tough Olympic news for the Romneys. Ann Romney's horse Rafalka did not advance to the Olympic finals. Apparently it was beat by… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
I know what was happening to me during the 2012 London Olympics. I was in a fantasy world. You look this side,… — P. R. Sreejesh Copy Share Image
How about those Olympics, ladies and gentlemen. Didn't London look like the place to be? New York City was in the running… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I tried out for the London Olympics, missed it by a little bit, gave it away for a while, and wasn't sure… — Emma McKeon Copy Share Image
Saudi Arabia's first female athlete will be allowed to compete while wearing a head scarf. The Saudi woman said she was thrilled… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney will travel to London where he will attend the Olympics opening ceremony. Of course it's going ot be weird when… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Well, Harry Reid and other members of congress, they're just furious over this Olympic uniform deal. He says we should burn the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“It makes no sense to compare yourself with others because there will always be better & worse people than you out there.… — Pablo Copy Share Image
It is a testament to the fundamental honesty of football that Israel, with nothing to play for, overcame Russia in Tel Aviv… — Martin Samuel Copy Share Image
I always try to see the good in everything, and that gives me strength. Even when I lost in the London Olympics… — Vijender Singh Copy Share Image
I guess you heard about this; the U.S. Olympic Committee is coming under fire after it was revealed that the uniforms for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The European countries are really hoping to do well in the Olympics. If they win gold medals, they can use them as… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Last night I went out for Chinese. I picked up a Team USA Olympic uniform. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The first Olympic Games were held in 776 BC. Do you know who lit the flame? Betty White. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I hope that this medal inspires the kids at home to put down guns and knives and pick up a pair of… — Erick Barrondo Copy Share Image
I would love to do well one last time in Melbourne and my dream would be to win Wimbledon and play in… — Kim Clijsters Copy Share Image
Seriously, the Olympic badminton players were apparently trying to lose on purpose, a big story. But really, think about it, if you… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Everything went smoothly at the sailing events today, except for the British team. They forgot to bring limes and they all got… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
So far China has won the most gold medals, ladies and gentlemen. The Chinese athletes can't wait to get home and show… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Did you hear this big scandal? Eight female badminton players were expelled from the Olympics for trying to lose on purpose. So… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
This year's Olympics will be replacing the women's beach volleyball bikinis with uniforms that are less revealing. The stricter dress code was… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In the spirit of the Olympic Games, they traditionally ask that all fighting and warfare around the world stop. So, there's hope… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The opening and closing ceremonies of the London Olympics are mass satanic rituals disguised as a celebration of Britain and sport. Their… — David Icke Copy Share Image
The U.S. team has swept all the medals in the skeet shooting event. So despite our bad economy, it's nice to know… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney had a horse competing in the Olympics. He didn't win. But next year, he'll be competing in 'Dancing with the… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Mexico. They upset Brazil to win a gold medal in men's soccer. And after the Olympics ended, the Mexican soccer… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Have you seen the Olympic uniforms? It's for the American Olympic team and it's berets. To me, nothing says America like a… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
By bringing Little Sun to Tate Modern and the London Olympics, I hope to realise an art project for those who typically… — Olafur Eliasson Copy Share Image
