Damn these human beings; if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Well, my book is written-let it go. But if it were only to write over again there wouldn't be so many things… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Alas! those good old days are gone, when a murderer could wipe the stain from his name and soothe his trouble to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike; a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
