When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare,… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
Heaven? Floating about with everyone you ever knew for eternity? Me family does me 'ed in after one day at xmas, I'd rather be… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
We are always making more and more stuff in the world. You know; big buildings, big planes, big boats and that. Will we ever… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone! — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs… — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share
