Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Heaven goes by favor; If it went on merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are only two forces that can carry light to all the corners of the globe... the sun in the heavens and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is easy to see that the inventor of the heaven did not originate the idea, but copied it from the show-ceremonies… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is easier for a cannibal to enter the Kingdom of Heaven through the eye of a rich man's needle that it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Who are we to create a heaven and hell for ourselves, excluding animals and plants in the bargain, just because we have… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“He is in heaven now, and happy; or if not there, he bides in hell and is content; for in that place… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Man is the only religious animal. In the Holy task of smoothing his brother's path to the happiness of heaven, he has… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
For instance, take this sample: he has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Oh, there spoke the human! He is always pretending that the eternal bliss of heaven is such a priceless boon! Yes, and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is the Creator´s Grand Army, and he is the Commander-in-Chief... With these facts before you, now try to guess man´s chiefest… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is my heart-warmed and world-embracing Christmas hope and aspiration that all of us, the high, the low, the rich, the poor,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
