If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Paul Revere was warning the British about gun control, and George Washington apparently was crossing the Delaware to bomb an abortion clinic. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
That's what American democracy has come down to at these town hall meetings: old people and gun nuts, which is a terrible… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
We had a national tragedy this week, and the President of the United States and Sarah Palin both made speeches on the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
This is a powerful message from our government: we will not be intimidated by bombs; we will not be intimidated by poison;… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If conservatives don't want to be seen as bitter people who cling to their guns and religion and anti-immigrant sentiments, they should… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Treason is when legislators vote against homeland security measures because it goes against the wishes of their political or financial backers. Treason… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If you think Democrats are going to take away your Bible, you're an idiot. If you think they are going to take… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Guns aren't just a tool of last resort. They're awesome. That's why people stroke them. And name them, and take pictures with… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rick Perry said Obama's suggestions for gun control disgust him. He said the real answer to this problem isn't laws, it's prayer.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share
So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies. — Bill Maher Copy Share
What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a… — Bill Maher Copy Share
“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.” — Bill Maher Copy Share
