Did you ever drink so much of a certain type of alcohol that you get so sick that you can never drink… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I'm not saying drinking is all that great but you know it's got benefits; you can't smoke somebody pretty. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I've been doing a lot of drugs in the last few weeks and drinking less, and I feel much better. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Canada, the drinking age is 18, that's unnecessary. Nobody wants to get loaded around people who have hope and their whole lives… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I've been playing the CNN Drinking Game, have you ever played that? Where you do a shot every time George Bush says… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Every 17 seconds a child dies on this planet from no clean drinking water. Good. Let's try to speed it up... there… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I hate when your friends quit drinking on you, don't you? It's sad. I've lost more friends to AA than Liberace did… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
Here's the path to sobriety: Play the Ron Paul drinking game. Watch CNN and take a drink every time someone says his… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share Image
I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasn't particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying:… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four… — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
You forget, when you're in the Scandinavian countries, you forget they don't speak English first and they speak better than I do. — Doug Stanhope Copy Share
