Child Quote by William Deresiewicz
““Both kinds of parenting, finally, are forms of overidentification. The helicopter parent turns the child into an instrument of her will. The overindulgent parent projects his own need for limitless freedom and security. In either case, the child is made to function as an extension of somebody else.””
About This Quote
Source Book: The Death of the Student, William Deresiewicz, 2017
Parenting styles that overidentify with a child turn the child into a tool for the parent’s desires, limiting the child’s autonomy.
In simple terms: Parents project their own needs onto children, restricting independence.
Key Takeaway
Allow children to develop their own identity.
Themes
parenting
identity
autonomy
control
development
Mood
concerned
reflective
Type
analytical
advisory
When to use this quote
- education
- family counseling
- personal development
- parenting workshops
Key Concepts
overidentification
psychology
family dynamics
Questions to Reflect On
- How does a parent’s unmet need shape their parenting?
- What steps can restore a child’s agency?
A Different Perspective
Children may resist or internalize expectations, causing long‑term resentment.
![“[Jane] Austen was not a novelist for nothing: she knew that our stories are what make us human, and that listening to someone else's stories -- entering into their feelings, validating their experiences -- is the highest way of acknowledging their humanity, the sweetest form of usefulness.” quote by William Deresiewicz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/2bb/william-deresiewicz-15471_austen_jane-austen-was-not-a-novelist-for-nothi_62623.jpg)
