Best friend Quote by Timothy Keller
““This principle - that your spouse should be capable of becoming your best friend - is a game changer when you address the question of compatibility in a prospective spouse. If you think of marriage largely in terms of erotic love, then compatibility means sexual chemistry and appeal. If you think of marriage largely as a way to move into the kind of social status in life you desire, then compatibility means being part of the desired social class, and perhaps common tastes and aspirations for lifestyle. The problem with these factors is that they are not durable. Physical attractiveness will wane, no matter how hard you work to delay its departure. And socio-economic status unfortunately can change almost overnight. When people think they have found compatibility based on these things, they often make the painful discovery that they have built their relationship on unstable ground. A woman 'lets herself go' or a man loses his job, and the compatibility foundation falls apart.””
About This Quote
Source Book: The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller, 2011
Compatibility based on superficial traits is unstable; lasting partnership needs deeper, enduring qualities.
In simple terms: Surface compatibility fades; deeper values endure.
Seek shared core values and purpose.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- long‑term partnership
- marriage counseling
- relationship building
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- What core values do you share?
- How can you build resilience against external changes?
Physical and social status change, undermining fragile foundations.