Empathy Quote by Stephen R. Covey
““Satisfied needs do not motivate. It’s only the unsatisfied need that motivates. Next to physical survival, the greatest need of a human being is psychological survival—to be understood, to be affirmed, to be validated, to be appreciated. When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air. And after that vital need is met, you can then focus on influencing or problem solving. This need for psychological air impacts communication in every area of life.””
About This Quote
Source Book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey, 1989
People are driven by unmet psychological needs; meeting the need for understanding and validation creates space for influence and problem solving.
In simple terms: Unmet emotional needs motivate; meeting them enables influence.
Key Takeaway
Address emotional needs before trying to persuade.
Themes
psychology
communication
motivation
empathy
influence
Mood
empathetic
insightful
reflective
Type
advice
motivational
psychological
When to use this quote
- team meetings
- coaching sessions
- conflict resolution
- customer service
- personal relationships
Key Concepts
Maslow's hierarchy
emotional intelligence
active listening
Questions to Reflect On
- How can you tell when someone’s psychological need is unmet?
- What strategies help you provide psychological “air” in tense conversations?
A Different Perspective
If the need for validation is ignored, attempts at influence may backfire.
![“That is another theme in the book [Dreams from My Father]. How do we exercise more empathy in our public discourse? How do we get the black to see through the eyes of the white? Or the citizen to see through the eyes of the immigrant? Or the straight to see through the eyes of the gay? That has…” quote by Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/00d/barack-obama-17_black_that-is-another-theme-in-the-book-dreams_10185.jpg)
