Christmas morning Quote by Stephen Osborne

“Daisy was my beloved bulldog, who had some problems of her own—the main one being that she, too, was no longer alive. However, she…

— Stephen Osborne

“If you’ve harmed one hair on Nick’s head, I’m going to send you to hell so fast that Satan won’t have time to stamp…

— Stephen Osborne

“There was a framed print on the wall of dogs playing poker. I wanted to smash it to preserve the dignity of the world,…

— Stephen Osborne

“DINNER went off without a hitch up until the part where people actually sat down at the table and began to eat. After that…

— Stephen Osborne

“The room was deathly quiet. Maybe because I was holding my breath. You know that feeling you get when you know you’re doing something…

— Stephen Osborne

“If I’m to be a ghost,” I told Caps, “I’m not haunting your aunt’s gloomy old place. I’d choose someplace livelier, more fun.” “Such…

— Stephen Osborne

“It’s my spider, Jeffrey. He’s a tarantula.” “Yes, he certainly seems to be.” “He’s my pet.” “Better you than me. I’m not overly fond…

— Stephen Osborne

“My hand found its way back to her knee. I hoped it was to comfort her. I’d hate to think that my right hand…

— Stephen Osborne

“There are good kissers and bad kissers. Good kisser: Tony. Sweet, passionate, and his lips make every nerve in your body stand up and…

— Stephen Osborne

“By standing and with me sitting, he was showing he was the dominant male in the room. I, however, had a .38 in a…

— Stephen Osborne

“I at least got Carson calmed down a little. Interested, he asked, “Really? There are demons who do that? Fuck all the time?” “Yeah.…

— Stephen Osborne

“It’s just that… I’m wanting to start dating myself.” I saw Gina’s eyes bug out. “I don’t mean dating myself. I’ve been doing that…

— Stephen Osborne