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Dark times Quote by Simon Rich

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““Before OkCupid profiles became mandated by the Galactic Government, the only way to find a mate was to self-induce brain-damage and beg strangers for sex in public. The fact that anyone ever achieved sexual congress during these dark times is a remarkable testament to man's will to survive.””

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Dark times

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I never felt ostracized or made to feel strange by obsessing over 'The Onion' or 'Calvin and Hobbes.' That was considered completely normal.

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“I still remember the day I got my first calculator Teacher: All right, children, welcome to fourth grade math. Everyone take a calculator out…

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I admired the earnestness of these people, many of whom had joined Greenpeace and marched for noble things in their youth. But I didn’t…

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I wanted to be an artist after all, and my teachers told me these were the best authors the 20th century had to offer.…

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“God: Check out this human I designed. Angel: Wow, that looks pretty incredible. How does it work? God: It's pretty complicated. Point to something…

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“I know the odds are against us. I know she’s a siren. I know she’s eaten people. I know she’s five thousand years older…

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“Otto could be extremely convincing. During our sophomore year, he’d persuaded me to boycott McDonald’s, even though they’d recently brought back the McRib.”

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Explore all 23 Simon Rich quotes

More Dark times quotes

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There's also some element of coming of age during the Reagan administration, which everybody has painted as some glorious time in America, but I…

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Life is a stream of happy and unhappy experiences, because that leads to Soul's purification. How do you get by in the dark times?…

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I've gone through some dark times, and at those times, my tattoos have helped and guided me through.

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“We've all felt a little incompetent, insufficient, overexposed, helpless, unlovable, terrified, defective, unfit and unsung at times. And deep down, for whatever reason, you…

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These are dark times, there is no denying. Our world has perhaps faced no greater threat than it does today. But I say this…

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My home city of Liverpool is known for having a sense of humour because it's experienced dark times.

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I am not a big crier. But I'd say it was after the Mendes fight. It was not because of the fight as such.…

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In a dark time, doors will sometimes magically open and let us step inside to the warmth and light of a community.

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Even in the dark times between experimental breakthroughs, there always continues a steady evolution of theoretical ideas, leading almost imperceptibly to changes in previous…

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