Losing control Quote by Roxane Gay
““Losing control of my body was a matter of accretion. I began eating to change my body. I was willful in this. Some boys had destroyed me, and I barely survived it. I knew I wouldn't be able to endure another such violation, and so I ate because I thought that if my body became repulsive, I could keep men away. Even at that young age, I understood that to be fat was to be undesirable to men, to be beneath their contempt, and I already knew too much about their contempt. This is what most girls are taught--that we should be slender and small. We should not take up space. We should be seen and not heard, and if we are seen, we should be pleasing to men, acceptable to society. And most women know this, that we are supposed to disappear, but it's something that needs to be said, loudly, over and over again, so that we can resist surrendering to what is expected of us.””
About This Quote
Source Book: Hunger: A Memoir of (, 2017
The passage critiques how societal pressure forces women to control their bodies to avoid male desire and violence, revealing internalized misogyny and the need for collective resistance.
In simple terms: Women are pressured to be thin to avoid male judgment; they must resist this expectation.
Key Takeaway
Reject body standards and claim space.
Themes
body image
gender oppression
resistance
self‑acceptance
Mood
defiant
reflective
empowering
Type
personal
political
feminist
When to use this quote
- personal narrative
- activism
- mental health
- education
- media critique
Key Concepts
Feminist theory
social conditioning
trauma
Questions to Reflect On
- How can we support women who feel trapped by body expectations?
- What actions can challenge the idea that thinness equals value?
A Different Perspective
The pressure to be slender can be internalized, making change psychologically difficult.
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