Emergence Quote by Robert Kegan
““Emergence from embeddedness involves a kind of repudiation, an evolutionary re-cognition that what before was me is not-me. This we see, too, on a universal basis in the first years of life. Could the 'terrible twos' with their rampant negativism and declarations of 'No!' be a communication to the old self, now gradually becoming object, more than to those exasperated parents who feel they are being defied as distinct and separate people? When the new balance becomes more secure, the infant will have less of a need to 'protest too much' and the parents will become 'others' rather than 'not-me's.””
About This Quote
Source Book: In Over Our Heads, Robert Kegan, 2014
Development involves shedding old self‑concepts and forming new, more complex identities, especially evident in early childhood resistance.
In simple terms: Growth means letting go of old identity and embracing new perspectives.
Key Takeaway
Allow space for evolving self‑understanding.
Themes
psychological development
identity formation
parenting
childhood
Mood
thoughtful
analytical
Type
psychological
developmental
When to use this quote
- parent‑child interactions
- education
- therapy
- personal growth
Key Concepts
Self‑concept
object relations
developmental stages
Questions to Reflect On
- What old identities are you holding onto?
- How can parents support healthy self‑redefinition?
A Different Perspective
Resistance can be a sign of deeper insecurity, not just defiance.
