““I'm going on a diet. (Crud, I know) I am going to be cranky. I am going to be irritable. I am going to be moody and sad and mean. And, yes, I am going to be hungry. Please don't feed me, even if I try to bite you. Please don't tease me, I may hurt you. Please don't try to encourage me, I may growl and snap at you. Please don't help me, I may blame you for everything aggravating in the known universe. Please don't be offended by my scowl, I cannot smile. But most importantly, please keep your distance until this trial is over to prevent any unnecessary casualties. Thank you for your understanding. ””
