Skip to content

Bad idea Quote by Richard Carlson

“In our relationships, weatherproofing typically plays itself out like this: You meet someone and all is well. You are attracted to his or her appearance, personality, intellect, sense of humor, or some combination of these traits. Initially, you not only approve of your differences with this…” quote by Richard Carlson
Download Open image
““In our relationships, weatherproofing typically plays itself out like this: You meet someone and all is well. You are attracted to his or her appearance, personality, intellect, sense of humor, or some combination of these traits. Initially, you not only approve of your differences with this person, you actually appreciate them. You might even be attracted to the person, in part because of how different you are. You have different opinions, preferences, tastes, and priorities. After a while, however, you begin to notice little quirks about your new partner (or friend, teacher, whoever), that you feel could be improved upon. You bring it to their attention. You might say, “You know, you sure have a tendency to be late.” Or, “I’ve noticed you don’t read very much.” The point is, you’ve begun what inevitably turns into a way of life—looking for and thinking about what you don’t like about someone, or something that isn’t quite right. Obviously, an occasional comment, constructive criticism, or helpful guidance isn’t cause for alarm. I have to say, however, that in the course of working with hundreds of couples over the years, I’ve met very few people who didn’t feel that they were weatherproofed at times by their partner. Occasional harmless comments have an insidious tendency to become a way of looking at life. When you are weatherproofing another human being, it says nothing about them—but it does define you as someone who needs to be critical. Whether you have a tendency to weatherproof your relationships, certain aspects of your life, or both, what you need to do is write off weatherproofing as a bad idea. As the habit creeps into your thinking, catch yourself and seal your lips. The less often you weatherproof your partner or your friends, the more you’ll notice how super your life really is.””

Richard Carlson

About This Quote

Source Book: Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, Richard Carlson, 1997

The habit of constantly critiquing others erodes appreciation and creates negativity, while restraint fosters deeper connection and gratitude

In simple terms: Constant criticism harms relationships; restraint builds appreciation

Key Takeaway

Pause before judging others

Themes

relationships communication self-awareness

Mood

reflective thoughtful

Type

advice philosophical

When to use this quote

  • marriage
  • friendship
  • teamwork
  • family dynamics

Key Concepts

psychology habit formation

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can you recognize when feedback becomes harmful?
  • What habits can replace criticism with appreciation?
A Different Perspective

Critique can be constructive; over‑criticism damages trust

4.9 out of 5 (7 ratings)

More by Richard Carlson

Explore all 78 Richard Carlson quotes

More Bad idea quotes

Browse all 550 Bad idea quotes