Coming of age Quote by Rebecca Solnit
““Some secret of nurture withered a generation or two before I arrived, if it had ever existed before among the poor, marginalized people on the edges of Europe from whom I descend. Both my parents grew up with a deep sense of poverty that was mostly emotional but that they imagined as material long after they clambered into the middle class, and so they were more like a pair of rivalrous older siblings than parents who see their children as extensions of themselves and their hopes. They were stuck in separateness. I didn't realize anything was odd until I was already on my own and found out that not everyone's parents cut them off financially as soon as the law allowed. I tried to leave home unsuccessfully at fourteen and fifteen and sixteen and did so successfully at seventeen, heading off to another country, as far away as I could go, and once I got there I realized I was more on my own than I had anticipated: I was henceforth entirely repsonsible for myself and thus began a few years of poverty.””
About This Quote
Source Essay: “The Mother of All Questions” in *The Mother of All Questions*, 2016
The narrator describes inherited emotional poverty and the struggle to become independent, highlighting how family dynamics and socioeconomic background shape personal responsibility.
In simple terms: Growing up with emotional poverty, the author learns self‑reliance after leaving home.
Embrace self‑reliance despite familial constraints.
Themes
Mood
Type
When to use this quote
- leaving home
- seeking education abroad
- building a career
- navigating financial independence
Key Concepts
Questions to Reflect On
- How does emotional poverty affect adult relationships?
- What structures can support youth leaving restrictive homes?
The narrative may overlook systemic barriers that limit true autonomy for many.