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Fond memories Quote by Murasaki Shikibu

“The bond between husband and wife is a strong one. Suppose the man had hunted her out and brought her back. The memory of her acts would still be there, and inevitably, sooner or later, it would be cause for rancor. When there are crises, incidents, a woman should try to overlook them, for better…” quote by Murasaki Shikibu
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““The bond between husband and wife is a strong one. Suppose the man had hunted her out and brought her back. The memory of her acts would still be there, and inevitably, sooner or later, it would be cause for rancor. When there are crises, incidents, a woman should try to overlook them, for better or for worse, and make the bond into something durable. The wounds will remain, with the woman and with the man, when there are crises such as I have described. It is very foolish for a woman to let a little dalliance upset her so much that she shows her resentment openly. He has his adventures--but if he has fond memories of their early days together, his and hers, she may be sure that she matters. A commotion means the end of everything. She should be quiet and generous, and when something comes up that quite properly arouses her resentment she should make it known by delicate hints. The man will feel guilty and with tactful guidance he will mend his ways. Too much lenience can make a woman seem charmingly docile and trusting, but it can also make her seem somewhat wanting in substance. We have had instances enough of boats abandoned to the winds and waves. It may be difficult when someone you are especially fond of, someone beautiful and charming, has been guilty of an indiscretion, but magnanimity produces wonders. They may not always work, but generosity and reasonableness and patience do on the whole seem best.””

Murasaki Shikibu

About This Quote

Source Novel: The Tale of Genji by Murasaki Shikibu, early 11th century

Marital bonds require patience, forgiveness, and subtle communication to survive crises and infidelities.

In simple terms: Marriage needs patience, forgiveness, subtle communication.

Key Takeaway

Practice gentle honesty and forgiveness in relationships.

Themes

marriage forgiveness communication gender roles

Mood

hopeful cautious

Type

advice reflective

When to use this quote

  • relationship counseling
  • marital counseling
  • family dynamics
  • personal growth

Key Concepts

conflict resolution emotional intelligence

Questions to Reflect On

  • How can partners express grievances without causing conflict?
  • When is silence more harmful than honesty?
A Different Perspective

Excessive leniency may lead to resentment or lack of substance.

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