““Because it wouldn’t have been fair to you,’ I say. ‘And then, selfishly, I knew that if I slept with you, then for the whole of the next year on post I would never have been able to get you out of my mind. I’d have just relived it over and over every second of every day. Which is what I’m going to be doing now anyway.’ I laugh ruefully at how much I’m going to replay this night. ‘But I would have been picturing some other lucky guy getting to have you, getting to come back to you every night. I didn’t want that. It would have been torture. To know you, to make love to you, and then lose you. I couldn’t do it.””
