Children Quote by Joshua Waitzkin
“Very gifted people, they win and they win, and they are told that they win because they are a winner. That seems like a positive thing to tell children, but ultimately, what that means is when they lose, it must make them a loser.”
About This Quote
Source Interview: The Art of Learning, Josh Waitzkin, 2013
Children praised only for winning internalize success as identity, making failure feel like personal defeat.
In simple terms: Winning praised creates fragile self‑esteem.
Key Takeaway
Teach effort, not just outcomes.
Themes
self‑esteem
identity
failure
parenting
Mood
reflective
concerned
Type
advisory
psychological
When to use this quote
- sports coaching
- school classrooms
- family praise
- team meetings
Key Concepts
growth mindset
self‑concept
validation
Questions to Reflect On
- How do you celebrate effort over result?
- What language can replace “winner” in praise?
A Different Perspective
If children also hear about effort, the pressure lessens.
![“Those are all real things that I experienced, not with [my daughters] growing up but with the, you know - I'm trying not to step into something and get a call, "Dad why'd you say that?"! But we'd go to games [where score wasn't kept], and I'd get it, but I wouldn't get it, because I think there's…” quote by Billy Crystal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/c5b/billy-crystal-6588_appreciate_those-are-all-real-things-that-i-experie_366126.jpg)
