Good and bad Quote by Ernest Becker
![“If the partner becomes God he can just as easily become the Devil; the reason is not far to seek. For one thing, one becomes bound to the object in dependency. One needs it for self-justification. . . . [O]ne's self-development is restricted by the object, absorbed by it. It is too narrow a…” quote by Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/bca/ernest-becker-7036_lose-yourself_if-the-partner-becomes-god-he-can-just-a_336762.jpg)
““If the partner becomes God he can just as easily become the Devil; the reason is not far to seek. For one thing, one becomes bound to the object in dependency. One needs it for self-justification. . . . [O]ne's self-development is restricted by the object, absorbed by it. It is too narrow a fetishization of meaning, and one comes to resent it and chafe at it. If you find the ideal love and try to make it the sole judge of good and bad in yourself . . . you become simply the reflex of another person. You lose yourself in the other, just as obedient children lose themselves in the family. No wonder that dependency, whether of the god or of the slave in the relationship, carries with it so much underlying resentment.””
About This Quote
The passage warns that making another person or an ideal love the ultimate judge of one's morality leads to dependency, loss of self, and resentment, as the self becomes absorbed by the object of devotion.
In simple terms: Relying on another for self‑validation erodes personal identity.
Key Takeaway
Cultivate inner standards rather than external validation.
Themes
identity
dependency
self‑worth
Mood
cautionary
introspective
Type
philosophical
psychological
When to use this quote
- personal therapy
- relationship counseling
- self‑development workshops
- mindfulness practice
Key Concepts
psychology
philosophy
relationships
Questions to Reflect On
- What boundaries protect self‑identity in love?
- How can one balance dependence and autonomy?
A Different Perspective
It may dismiss healthy interdependence in relationships.
