““He said, cold: “If you say so, I’ve got to believe you.”Then he leaped over at me, and grabbed my shoulders and shook me: “I hate you for being normal, I hate you for it. You’re a normal human being. What right have you to that? I suddenly understood that you remember everything, you probably remember everything I’ve ever said. You remember everything that’s happened to you, it’s intolerable.”His fingers dug into my shoulders and his face was alive with hatred. I said: “Yes, I do remember everything.”But not in triumph. I was aware of myself as he saw me, a woman inexplicably in command of events, because she could look back and see a smile, a movement, gestures; hear words, explanations—a woman inside time. I disliked the solemnity, the pompousness of that upright little custodian of the truth. When he said: “It’s like being a prisoner, living with someone who knows what you said last week, or can say: three days ago you did so and so,”I could feel a prisoner with him, because I longed to be free of my own ordering, commenting memory. I felt my sense of identity fade. My stomach clenched and my back began to hurt.””
