Affair Quote by David Levithan
““ lover , n . Oh, how I hated this word. So pretentious, like it was always being translated from the French. The tint and taint of illicit, illegitimate affections. Dictionary meaning: a person having a love affair . Impermanent. Unfamilial. Inextricably linked to sex. I have never wanted a lover. In order to have a lover, I must go back to the root of the word. For I have never wanted a lover, but I have always wanted lover, and to be loved. There is no word for the recipient of the love. There is only a word for the giver. There is the assumption that lovers come in pairs. When I say, Be my lover , I don't mean, Let's have an affair . I don't mean Sleep with me . I don't mean, Be my secret . I want us to go back to that root. I want you to be the one who loves me. I want to be the one who loves you.””
About This Quote
Source Novel: Boy Meets Girl by David Levithan, 2003
The speaker critiques the word “lover” for its connotations of illicit, temporary, and sexual relationships, urging a return to its root meaning of mutual love without expectations.
In simple terms: The term “lover” is seen as pretentious and limited to sexual affairs, missing the pure desire to be loved and to love.
Key Takeaway
Seek relationships based on genuine, reciprocal love rather than labels.
Themes
love
language
identity
relationships
sexuality
Mood
reflective
thoughtful
Type
philosophical
inspirational
When to use this quote
- romantic partnerships
- friendships
- family dynamics
- personal self‑reflection
Key Concepts
semantic critique
gender norms
emotional intimacy
Questions to Reflect On
- How can we redefine “lover” to include non‑sexual love?
- What labels limit our expression of love?
A Different Perspective
The word may still carry cultural baggage that resists reinterpretation.
![“[Friendships] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail.” quote by Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/cdb/fran-lebowitz-690_affair_friendships-are-easy-to-get-out-of-compa_77324.jpg)
