““Even though I know that this hope that my mother will love me, and be the kind, loving, interested, nurturing mother that I so want, need, and deserve … even though that hope is a vain one, and I know it’s a vain one, it’s too hard to let it go. The alternative is accepting that I will never, ever have a mother, and that’s too hard for me to face. Even though I just cannot let go of this hope – no matter that I know it would free me – I love and accept myself anyway. Even though I keep clinging to this hope, despite everything, despite all the evidence, and I know it’s not doing me any favours, I love and accept myself anyway.””