Tweets Quotes

86 quotes by 50 authors

I showed my therapist some of my tweets and now she's seeing a therapist. — Nikhil Saluja
I don't need beer to have a good time, I just need it to focus, avoid depression, good tweets, fall asleep, and maintain an erection. — Nikhil Saluja
I always wonder if doctors could read their own tweets. — Nikhil Saluja
If someone stole your tweet just write 50 more tweets or have them murdered. Simple. — Nikhil Saluja
My boss fired me from job today. Unfortunately I need you to impress our clients never means making jokes about them on my tweets. — Nikhil Saluja
The follower counts should be hidden so we can be fair and judge people only by the quality of their tweets. — Nikhil Saluja
I lost her at stop telling me about your funny tweets — Nikhil Saluja
I started pooping 10 times a day because it's where I come up with my best tweets. — Nikhil Saluja
People with more than 50,000 tweets should officially be declared as Senior Citizens of Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja
I like my sex like I like my tweets, Forced and meaningless. — Nikhil Saluja
My tweets are my moods, they're not up for a fucking debate. — Nikhil Saluja
________ is now single. oh hell, here comes the Sex Bashing Tweets. — Nikhil Saluja
If you post too much inspirational tweets, I'm reporting you for inappropriate activity. — Nikhil Saluja
I'd have more funnier tweets if I was surrounded with more idiots. — Nikhil Saluja
I don't hate you. I hate your watsapp jokes. I hate your tweets. I hate your Facebook Status. I hate your foursquare check-ins. — Nikhil Saluja
For those who were offended by my tweets; fuck you. — Nikhil Saluja
Having tweets favorited rather than being retweeted isn't the same thing as getting friend zoned but it feels similar — Nikhil Saluja
I hate it when my wife asks me how my day was, because it's like, doesn't she read my tweets? — Nikhil Saluja
Cloning seems like a good idea. I'd have much more time to come up with funny tweets. — Nikhil Saluja
Whenever I'm feeling happy, I log on twitter and read your inspirational tweets. — Nikhil Saluja

Who Wrote These Tweets Quotes

50 authors contributed a total of 86 Tweets Quotes, led by these top contributors: