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- A telephone survey says that 51 percent of college students drink until they pass out at least once a month. The other… — Craig Kilborn
- I don't need somebody behind a desk to tell me what a marketing survey says is funny. I got 3 million miles… — D L Hughley
- A survey says that American workers work the first three hours every day just to pay their taxes. So that's why we… — Jay Leno
- A new survey says one in three adults will be dressing up for Halloween. As for me, I'm not going to do… — Craig Ferguson
- Survey says: one more for the bad guys. — Scott Hall