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- Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it. The thief spends less than my wife did — Henny Youngman
- Last Christmas someone stole my present. I've spent this year living in the past. — Unknown Author
- I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got… — Rita Rudner
- Someone stole my wallet last week. The guy called me up and he was mad at me. He was like 'you gotta… — Mike Birbiglia
- Someone stole my shoelaces once from my shoes. I still wear them and never put laces in them - they're like my… — Robert Pattinson
- Someone stole my heart. I haven't gotten it back, because I haven't found anyone to steal it back for me. — Scott Watson
- Because someone stole Gregory Peck's star on Hollywood Blvd., I have hired a Brink's guard to protect my star! — Rip Taylor
- Science fiction is a dialogue, a tennis match, in which the Idea is volleyed from one side of the net to the… — C J Cherryh
- Morning is such a wonderful time to say what my heart feels. Every time I think of you, my heart leaps and… — NYT/Nirmal
- Someone stole my shoes, but there is a couple of bananas and a bottle of booze. — Counting Crows
- It tastes like someone stole my wallet, ya know? — Gerard Way
- Someone stole my heart..i want it back! Give it back.. Don't wanna fall in love!. — Febie Bacani