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- President Obama has offered a plan with 4 trillion dollars in debt reduction over a decade, with two and a half dollars… — William J. Clinton
- O. J. Simpson has already received the ultimate punishment: For the rest of his life he has to associate with golfers. — George Carlin
- [On Sting] He threw a sucker punch. There's the sucker who threw the punch. Him the the Bart Simpson hair doo. — Bobby Heenan
- The average tax payer is not a big voluntary supporter of the arts. The only art that the average taxpayer buys voluntarily… — Dave Barry
- Ten years from now, I would like to see myself successful as a brand, like Jessica Simpson, with babies running around and… — Nicole Polizzi
- What I'd like is to turn out like Jessica Simpson, with her whole brand — Nicole Polizzi
- I have an immature, Homer Simpson-like tendency to giggle when I say the words 'seminal fluids' in public. — Stephenie Meyer
- If (O.J. Simpson) is acquitted, I will renounce my citizenship. And if I converse with him at a cocktail party, I will… — Dick Cavett