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- I wasn’t like, boo hoo, Bin Laden’s dead, but I wasn’t jumping. America’s a very nationalistic country, and in episodes like that… — Jeremy Scahill
- Ted Cruz, of course, was furious that the big storm back east shut down the government. He said, 'That my job!' But… — Bill Maher
- Missionarying was a better thing in those days than it is in ours. All you had to do was to cure the… — Mark Twain
- Love: the sickest of Irony’s sick jokes. The place where logic and order go to die. — Christopher Moore