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- There is a small, but important, difference between peeing in the pool, and peeing into the pool. — Demetri Martin
- Once the minority of House and Senate are comfortable in their minority status, they will have no problem socializing with the Republicans.… — Grover Norquist
- I only wanted Uncle Vernon standing by his own car (a Hudson) on a clear day, I got him and the car.… — Lee Friedlander
- The first time I lay actual eyes on the real David Lynch on the set of his movie, he's peeing on a… — David Foster Wallace
- It's so scary. And then I end up getting so nervous that I get like [I am] now. I get really hyper.… — Jennifer Lawrence
- The Congressional Record will forever show that [Obamacare] was passed in a romper room of overgrown children seemingly barely old enough to… — Matt Taibbi
- Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel the warmth. — Jon Foreman
- In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and… — Tom Hanks