Mister Quotes

82 quotes by 59 authors

Lord help the mister that comes between me and my sister... — Irving Berlin
Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the… — Ambrose Bierce
He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her.… — Jack Handey
Now it stands to reason, mister, any damn fool stares into the sun long enough, he'll end up seeing exactly what some other damn fool… — John D. MacDonald
Can I throw harder than Joe Wood? Listen mister, no man alive can throw any harder than Smoky Joe Wood. — Walter Johnson
There was a clear lesson here â€” and that was that the Internet loves Mister Splashy Pants. — Alexis Ohanian
I am as fond of colorful language as anyone, but I try not to inflict it upon strangers. I suspect many people sense they should… — Roger Ebert
I remember when I was in the army, we had the toughest drill sergeant in the world. He'd get right up next to your face… — Jack Handey
I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then… — Jack Handey
I remember how the other kids used to say that old Mister Swenson was the meanest man in town. But I said I thought he… — Jack Handey
Mister, I don't want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife.… — Bill Hicks
Hey mister, where you goin' in such a hurry? Don't you think it's time you realize There's a whole lot more to life than work… — Mac Davis
I think basically lables were more interested in a Richard Page record than a Mr. Mister record. — Lee Patrick Mastelotto
I don't know of any plans to remaster the Mr Mister catalog. — Lee Patrick Mastelotto
It's hard to find a negligee in my size. I wear a Junior Mister. — Phyllis Diller
Buddy , you might think that I've lost my mind. But mister, I'd pay twice to do it one more time. — Dwight Yoakam
Out of our way mister, you best keep. — Bruce Springsteen
Time slips away and leaves you with nothing, mister, but boring stories of glory days. — Bruce Springsteen
I do think better of womankind than to suppose they care whether Mister John Keats five feet high likes them or not. — John Keats
Mistress: Something between a mister and a mattress. — Jim Backus

Who Wrote These Mister Quotes

59 authors contributed a total of 82 Mister Quotes, led by these top contributors: