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RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

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Ambrose Bierce has 968 quotes on this site. A few more worth reading:

Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Genealogy, n. An account of one's descent from a man who did not particularly care to trace his own.
Consult: To seek approval for a course of action already decided upon.
Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two…
Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and common sense.

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