Funny Motivational Quotes

30 quotes by 26 authors

Hope is the dream of a waking man. — Aristotle
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think. — Milton Berle
If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else. — Yogi Berra
When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best - that is inspiration. — Robert Bresson
Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door. — Kyle Chandler
Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous. — Chelsea Handler
Just because I rock doesn't mean I am made of stone. — Jim Carrey
If you go to bed at night and think about your day and you haven't laughed very much, then you must jump out of bed… — Marlo Morgan
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into… — Robert Frost
Most comedy is based on getting a laugh at somebody else's expense. And I find that that's just a form of bullying in a major… — Ellen DeGeneres
I'm a person who gets better with practice. Getting older is awesome - because you get more practice. — Zooey Deschanel
I don't know why femininity should be associated with weakness. Women should be free to express who they are without thinking, 'I need to act… — Zooey Deschanel
My nursery school did a production of 'The Three Little Pigs.' I played the third pig. When the wolf knocked on my door, I refused… — Zooey Deschanel
Here is my prescription to heal all wounds. Watch the film 'Funny Girl' at least five times, eat at least 45 chocolate bars, and hang… — Beth Ditto
It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question. — Eugene Ionesco
Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint. — Don Marquis
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. — Robert Orben
If you're going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now. — Marie Osmond
I'm old enough and cranky enough now that if someone tried to tell me what to do, I'd tell them where to put it. — Dolly Parton
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. — Charles M. Schulz

Who Wrote These Funny Motivational Quotes

26 authors contributed a total of 30 Funny Motivational Quotes, led by these top contributors: