Funny But True Quotes
- They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. — Milton Berle
- When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here? — Billy Connolly
- To err is human, to forgive is against company policy. — Lew Wasserman
- I am not sure if women are attracted to genius. Can you imagine the wise wizard winning the woman over the gallant swordsman? It seems… — Criss Jami
- In the fashion industry, everything goes retro except the prices. — Criss Jami
- I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. — Steven Wright
- Somewhere in the crowd was at least one potential friend who'd understand the fundamental value of goofing off. Because if not, how boring would that… — Alyson Noel
- If no one knows when a person is going to die, how can we say he died prematurely? — George Carlin
- I did what all good Iriah dads do when faced with a worthy adversary..I said Ask your mother!! — Eoin Colfer
- The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order. — Unknown Author
- The problem with the world are the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid people are full of confidence. — Unknown Author
- When your dreams turn to dust, it's time to vacuum. . . — Rick Sutter
- Well one man's trash is another man's treasure One man's pain is another man's pleasure — J. Cole
- Silly duck bitches, why don't you try sticking your boobs out instead of your lips...at least your boobs don't look as stupid as your face — Nicole Hill