Funniest Sports Quotes
47 Funniest Sports quotes by 41 unique authors
-
These are my new shoes. They're good shoes. They won't make you rich like me, they won't make you rebound like me, they definitely won't…
— Charles Barkley
-
The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.
— Dave Barry
-
I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid.
— Terry Bradshaw
-
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I beat people up.
— Muhammad Ali
-
I can play in the center, on the right and occasionally on the left side.
— David Beckham
-
Because she is too ugly to kiss goodbye.
— Bum Phillips
-
I'd be willing to bet you, if I was a betting man, that I have never bet on baseball.
— Pete Rose
-
We talkin' about practice?
— Allen Iverson
-
What's the difference between a three-week-old puppy and a sportswriter? In six weeks, the puppy stops whining.
— Mike Ditka
-
Yeah, I regret we weren't on a higher floor.
— Charles Barkley
-
But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.
— Steve Spurrier
-
I went through baseball as a player to be named later.
— Joe Garagiola
-
I was thinking about making a comeback, until I pulled a muscle vacuuming.
— Johnny Bench
-
The Germans only have one player under 22, and he's 23!
— Kevin Keegan
-
I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I'm very intelligent when I speak.
— Shaquille O'Neal
-
Fade into Bolivian, I guess.
— Mike Tyson
-
I can dribble with my right hand and I can dribble with my left hand. I'm amphibious.
— Charles Shackleford
-
The Mets just had their first .500-or-better April since July of 1992.
— Ralph Kiner
-
You can sum up this sport in two words: You never know.
— Lou Duva
-
They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
— Oscar Gamble
-
You don't like to see hookers going down on players like that.
— Murray Mexted
-
The drivers have one foot on the brake, one on the clutch and one on the throttle.
— Unknown Author
-
The only thing that keeps this organization from being recognized as one of the finest in baseball is wins and losses at the major league…
— Unknown Author
-
The NFL, like life, is full of idiots.
— Randy Cross
-
The only way to stop Jim Brown was to give him a movie contract.
— Unknown Author
More Ways to Read Funniest Sports Quotes
Who Wrote These Funniest Sports Quotes
41 authors contributed a total of 47 Funniest Sports Quotes, led by these top contributors: