All Quotes

128558 quotes by 30354 authors

I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real… — Roseanne Barr
Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend… — Roseanne Barr
When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he… — Roseanne Barr
Women of this planet need some essential resources: wells, seeds and roads. That is primarily all we have ever needed. Added to that, women need… — Roseanne Barr
I never felt so close to a guitar as that silver one with mirrors that I used on stage all the time. — Syd Barrett
Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that.… — James M. Barrie
That is ever the way. Tis all jealousy to the bride and good wishes to the corpse. — James M. Barrie
For myself I hold no preferences among flowers, so long as they are wild, free, spontaneous. Bricks to all greenhouses! Black thumb and cutworm to… — Edward Abbey
If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at… — Joey Adams
I'll put it frankly - Britain has more influence in China than Norway or Switzerland, with all respect for the other countries. — Jose Manuel Barroso
Let us consider that swearing is a sin of all others peculiarly clamorous, and provocative of Divine judgment. — Isaac Barrow
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient… — Dave Barry
Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects. — Dave Barry
My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible. — Dave Barry
The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers. — Dave Barry
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can… — Dave Barry
If I didn't try to eavesdrop on every bus ride I take or look for the humor when I go for a walk, I would… — Lynda Barry
I run a tight ship, but I try and make it seem like I'm not doing that at all. — Lynda Barry
Power always thinks... that it is doing God's service when it is violating all his laws. — John Adams
I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of… — Todd Barry

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30,354 authors contributed a total of 128,558 All Quotes, led by these top contributors: