Happy ending Quote by Carolyn G. Heilbrun
““Most of us begin, aided by almost every aspect of our culture, hoping for a perfect marriage. What this means is that we accept sexual attractiveness as a clue to finding our way in the labyrinth of marriage. It almost never is. Oddly enough, the media, which promise marriage as the happy ending, almost simultaneously show it, after several years, to be more ending than happy. But the dream lives on that this time will be different. "Perhaps the reason the truth is so little told is that it sounds quotidian, bourgeois, even like advocating proportion, that most unappealing of all virtues. But E. M. Forester understood this: when someone suggested that truth is halfway between extremes, his answer (in Howards End) was, "No; truth, being alive, was not halfway between anything. It was only to be found by continuous excursions into either realm, and though proportion is the final secret, to espouse it at the outset is to ensure sterility." Proportion is the final secret, and that is why all good marriages are what Stanley Cavell calls 'remarriages,' and not lust masquerading as passion.””
About This Quote
Marriage is often idealized by cultural narratives, but reality shows it requires ongoing effort and balance rather than static perfection.
In simple terms: Idealized marriage vs. lived reality
Key Takeaway
Marriage needs continuous negotiation
Themes
Love
Culture
Reality
Truth
Proportion
Mood
Reflective
Cautious
Hopeful
Type
Philosophical
Observational
When to use this quote
- Couples planning wedding
- Long-term partners reassessing marriage
- Therapists guiding couples
Key Concepts
Marriage dynamics
Cultural expectations
Truth seeking
Practical Applications
- Relationship counseling
- Marriage education workshops
Questions to Reflect On
- How can couples maintain authenticity over time?
- What role does cultural myth play in marital expectations?
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