A-mayonnaise-ing!

Food, like anything else, lives in the physical world and obeys the laws of physics. When you whisk together some oil and a little…

— Nathan Myhrvold

Ultimately, mayonnaise and aioli are brothers from the same mother. Both are emulsions of oil and water, which just means that the two incompatible…

— Sohla El-Waylly

“Q: Who invented mayonnaise?   A: Somebody with bad taste.”

— Barry Raspbody

I spent my childhood eating. The only exercise I got was trying to twist off the cap of a jar of mayonnaise.

— Richard Simmons

Chic is a kind of mayonnaise, either it tastes, or it doesn't.

— Karl Lagerfeld

Toum is essentially a mayonnaise, but it's stabilized with garlic instead of egg. Just like mayo, toum is an emulsion of oil into water,…

— Sohla El-Waylly

When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or Manet, I said, "I like mayonnaise." She just stared at…

— Jack Handey

What exactly are the ingredients of Ranch dressing? Mayo and disappointment?

— Jim Gaffigan

You don't use mayonnaise, why? ... Are you addicted to mayonnaise? Is it okay if I use mayonnaise? I could go outside...

— Jim Gaffigan

“Light mayonnaise is like masturbation—it approximates the real thing but leaves you unfulfilled, ultimately leading to fantasies about diving face-first into a big-ass jar…

— Susan Donovan

I'm not a person who writes really abstract things with oblique references. I look at abstraction like I look at condiments. Give me some…

— Wynton Marsalis

“Make sure you embrace days more than a jar does mayonnaise.”

— Noah Nichols

Mayonnaise is a lot like men, it can make everything much better, adding flavor and ease to your life. Or, it can just be…

— Sarah Dessen

Mayonnaise is basically the only condiment there is. Anything tastes better with lots of mayo... even a spoon.

— Tinsley Mortimer

I love mayonnaise. It's one of the first lessons I teach my cooking students. Turning eggs and oil into an emulsion - that creamy,…

— Samin Nosrat