I never know the right thing to say, especially during sex. After my first time, I said to the girl, 'That's it,… — Tom Deacon First time Copy Share Image
I once buggered a man unconscious. I'm lying, he was already unconscious when I found him — Tom Deacon Found Copy Share Image
Where I'm from, people aren't quick. A girl once asked her mum, 'Can I have a Cadbury's Creme Egg?' The mum said,… — Tom Deacon Bird Copy Share Image
