Sandra Bernhard

I'm very much a humanist. I'm very much pro-choice. I'm very much politically correct.

— Sandra Bernhard

I'm very much an optimist. I don't think I could do my work if I didn't believe there was some kind of…

— Sandra Bernhard

I don't like surgery. I don't like elective surgery, I don't like surgery that you have to have.

— Sandra Bernhard

It's depressing sitting at a comedy club all night, waiting to get on to do your five or ten minutes of material.

— Sandra Bernhard

I can't tell you 100 percent what makes a relationship work. But I can see something good coming and I can see…

— Sandra Bernhard

When you're watching the news, how many days in a row can you watch that and feel good about yourself and the…

— Sandra Bernhard

I would be dishonorable in a relationship because I wasn't getting what I wanted from that person.

— Sandra Bernhard

When you're collaborating with somebody who's got a lot of stuff they haven't worked out yet, you're working out their vision as…

— Sandra Bernhard

I am still comfortable with my body, because I'm like, What's not to be comfortable with? I mean, it's just my nature.

— Sandra Bernhard

From the time I was a kid, I'd never joined groups. I hated high school groups. I hung out with hippies, musical…

— Sandra Bernhard

People feel like if they don't have a voice or a name or the spotlight, then they're invisible. But if you can't…

— Sandra Bernhard

“every night i say prayers for him just so he knows that when my day ends and i'm ready to dream he…

— Sandra Bernhard

I'm not saying I'm some high priestess. I do things, I'm sure, that are damaging, but it's certainly not on purpose.

— Sandra Bernhard

That disturbs people when they know they didn't have the guts or integrity to stick to their dreams.

— Sandra Bernhard

Kids need to be educated about sex and sexuality and if they're going to have sex, learn how to protect themselves and…

— Sandra Bernhard

Growing up in the '60s and the '70s, things certainly seemed more simplistic and easier to digest.

— Sandra Bernhard

Unfortunately, most college kids these days aren't coming from any place-they seem to ask the same kind of questions over and over…

— Sandra Bernhard

You can't just try to be a performer. It's in your DNA. I really believe that it's either what you are or…

— Sandra Bernhard

I really, really love Hilary Clinton. I think she's very cool. She's out there and she's involved.

— Sandra Bernhard

I would never wanna do a show that's strictly maudlin and invaded my personal life and my home. I would never do…

— Sandra Bernhard

You have to take the basics of feminism and the kind of outline of it and do what you do with it.…

— Sandra Bernhard

Of course, everybody's family is dysfunctional - we've accepted that. What are we supposed to do? Hate our parents for the rest…

— Sandra Bernhard

I was really going through a transition in my life. I was tired of feeling victimized by my career.

— Sandra Bernhard

When people pay to see you live, they connect with you on a much deeper level than people who just buy your…

— Sandra Bernhard

Once you're heterosexual and comfortable with that, you don't need to take out an announcement every day.

— Sandra Bernhard

I think people are a little bit intimidated by me. You know, I'm not exactly a wilting flower, so I think they're…

— Sandra Bernhard

If you come home to a household of chaos and anger and fear, you're not going to feel protected from the world.

— Sandra Bernhard

My father was a proctologist and my mother was an abstract artist, so that's how I view the world.

— Sandra Bernhard

At no time do I come from a cynical point of view. I'm coming from a concerned point of view.

— Sandra Bernhard

I've always gotten myself overly involved in supporting other women who've not always been as supportive in return.

— Sandra Bernhard

I think so much of what informs us as performers is what we had to endure as kids growing up. I was…

— Sandra Bernhard

I love National Geographic. Just when you think you've seen the last lost native tribe, National Geographic will find a new one.

— Sandra Bernhard

They want families to come to New York and go to the theater, so the theater is all geared toward family entertainment.…

— Sandra Bernhard

A remembrance can mean nothing to the one remembered; it can only remind the ones left behind how little they did while…

— Sandra Bernhard

There's this whole sense of judgment and who's right and who's wrong and who's moral and who's going to be punished.

— Sandra Bernhard

If you want to dig, if you want to pry, do it on your time, but I'm going to be a woman…

— Sandra Bernhard

There are so few women in general who aren't completely threatened and confused by other women's success. It's very disappointing.

— Sandra Bernhard

The most important, overriding arc of my career has been that I would never be self-deprecating.

— Sandra Bernhard

When you're constantly looking for things from other people, you're not looking within yourself.

— Sandra Bernhard

I've always been opposed to groups. I can't believe the doctrine of group is going to work for every single person within…

— Sandra Bernhard