RJ Berger Quotes

21 quotes in 183 categories

• You're going out with the Dark Knight?
• That kid's like 5 feet of pure Columbine.
• My name is R.J. Berger, and crime doesn't pay... at least not for me.
• Is that peanut oil and burnt hair?
• My name is RJ Berger, and taking the bus sucks.
• 100% guaranteed, no strings attached, porn-quality sex.
• What are you? The shamwow guy?
• School won't pay to fix the brakes on this yellow turd!
• It's called walking to school, fatty!
• I'm telling you, dude, school dances, they're just a conspiracy
• It's gonna be epic. Not as epic as the sex I'll be having after the winter formal.
• I'm gonna get some bite marks on my hang-low Saturday. Kevin, assuming you're even capable of getting a boner after sitting on your balls for…
• Fact. of all high school girls lose their virginity at school-sponsored dances.
• Most guys wouldn't be caught dead with a deaf girl! But, hey, I'm not most guys!
• Look, my dating life up until now has been a complete disaster, and if I'm not careful, my virginity will take on, like, a life…
• I still can't believe you asked mini Chewbacca to the winter formal!
• I'm tired of attractive guys who wouldn't flatten me during sex.
• How does your last full day of virginity feel?
• She's, um... Yeah, yeah, yeah, the one that looks like one of them klingons from Star Wars.
• When you look back on your sorry-ass life 30 years from now, do you want to be the loser who did the right thing, or…

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