Rich Hall Quotes

17 quotes in 264 categories

• When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And…
• A hotel mini bar allows you to see what a can of Pepsi will cost in twenty years.
• In Montana, a policeman will pull you over because he is lonely.
• Foxes are rats in expensive coats. What are foxes associated with? Evil, wily, conniving, duplicitous, Fox News - worst news service on the planet and…
• As an American, I'd like to apologize - for everything.
• The first time I came to the Comedy Festival some nutcase shot a bunch of people in Tasmania. I thought, 'Oh, that's just Tasmania.' The…
• Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
• The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it…
• The combination of popcorn, soda, and melted chocolate which covers the floors of movie theaters.
• Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank even when you are the only person in line.
• The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to determine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).
• The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the stamp when they can't quite figure it out for themselves.
• The metallic silver coating found on fast-food game cards.
• Manhandling the open here spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the illegal side.
• The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.
• The peculiar habit, when searching for a snack, of constantly returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will have materialized.
• A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice.

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