Paul Merton

When things are difficult, awful, stressful, the thing that always gets you through is a sense of humour. I don't mean -…

— Paul Merton

I have never sold my story, done Hello! magazine, any of that stuff. I'm not guilty of exploiting my private life for…

— Paul Merton

I was never one to go up to someone as a five- or six-year-old and say, 'Hello, my name's Paul, will you…

— Paul Merton

If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide…

— Paul Merton

It was a bizarre existence I led in my early twenties - that cliche of the comedian who goes out and entertains…

— Paul Merton

The economics favour one-man comedy shows: all you need is one person, a microphone and a PA system. But I'm pleased so…

— Paul Merton

I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.

— Paul Merton

There's something magical about film, it's the ultimate for me, because it's kind of permanent - inasmuch as anything is. When I…

— Paul Merton

My favourite riposte to a heckle is to say, 'Excuse me, I'm trying to work here. How would you like it if…

— Paul Merton

Generally speaking, politicians are an odd bunch. They seem to have very thick skins and genuinely don't care what people think. And…

— Paul Merton

In 1987, I was in Edinburgh doing my first one-man show. I took part in a kickabout with some fellow comedians and…

— Paul Merton

If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating.

— Paul Merton

In 1986, I was attacked in the street as I helped Neil Mullarkey from the Comedy Store Players to put up posters.…

— Paul Merton

I don't consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me.

— Paul Merton

And like the old stereotype, I overcame my shyness by making my friends laugh.

— Paul Merton

I really don't take any interest at all in contemporary comedy.

— Paul Merton

I think having an outsider's viewpoint is interesting and good, especially for a comedian.

— Paul Merton

It seems like a contradiction, but the shy person who is a performer actually does make sense, because in a way, when…

— Paul Merton