All Maureen Johnson Quotes
- The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs. Funny
- I sleep better knowing that a naked cork-eater is not sneaking around at night, stealing my underwear. Better
- Nothing was quite like it was supposed to be. Funny
- She didn't even notice right away that a small animal had come out from behind a nearby car and was slowly making its way toward… Animal
- I'm Keith," he said, "and you're . . . clearly mad, but what's your name? Clearly
- We learn that many great thinkers were convinced that the Bible contained the Ancient Mysteries, but not in the literal words—that the words on the… Ancient
- Just then, my phone started ringing. The ring must have been damaged by the water as well, so now it had a high, keening note… Been
- The truth was that she had managed to betray everyone by doing nothing. No one in history had ever done less and yet been so… Ache
- It could have been like a fairy tale. But fairy tales aren't real. Things don't work like that. There's a price for everything. Been
- This wasn't a position she wanted to be in. And yet . . . yet she knew that she was going to do it anyway. Inspirational
- I have no phobias. Phobias are irrational. My fears are rational and CAREFULLY CULTIVATED, like roses. Carefully
- Salt. Wound. Together at last. Last
- Go see old virgins! Now ask a strange boy out, you shy, Retarded thing! Ask
- I guess life is full of maybes. Full
- I envisioned huge piles of the Elf Hotel flying off the belt, taking down everybody in sight. I had seen pictures of that Elf Hotel… Anyone
- There is nothing about a bad situation that fourteen hyper cheerleaders can't worsen. Bad
- Stuart must have sensed my despair from the way I began lightly banging my forehead on the table. Banging
- You could wear the same outfit every single day and no guy - who isn't gay - will notice. Day
- I realize Jubilee is a bit of a stripper name. You probably think I have heard the call of the pole. Bit
- Which is both gross and breathtakingly romantic. He could always have just gone upstairs and brushed his teeth, but he stayed and lurked by the… Both
- Oh my God!" said one of the Ambers. "Is this not the worst trip ever? Did you see the snow?" She was a sharp one,… Amber
- It's always awkward when someone doesn't realize you're joking and devotes thought time to what you've said. Double that when the person is wearing tinfoil. Always Awkward
- What tinfoil?" he asked. Asked
- Also, when on a campaign to convince a stranger that you aren't a few fries short of a Happy Meal, throwing around phrases like "tangentially… Best
- It took about three minutes for the unassuming Waffle House to become the new offices of the law firm of Amber, Amber, Amber, and Madison.… Alive